The power of choice.

 

I said in yesterday's post that I'm a product of my experiences. We all are. Just pause for a moment and think back over your own life. How decisions you made long ago affected who you are now. And how if things had gone differently, what might be different now. Like in the movie "Sliding Doors". If you haven't seen the movie, think of games like chess, checkers, or billiards and how each move determines future moves. All moves have a knock-on effect. There are a multitude of outcomes based on what precedes a situation. And your choices count. Every last one of them. We all have the power of choice.

 

 

At age 13 I was given the name "Gumption" at my confirmation. Other kids got names like "Joy". I felt like Charlie Brown at Halloween: "I got a rock". I didn't even know what gumption meant, nor did my parents. So I went home and looked it up. It read: "determination and strong will to see things through to completion". That didn't sound like me. Or so I then thought.

 

Everyone has a unique purpose in life. We are ALL important. And before you go thinking that one person can't make a difference, I beg to differ. I danced ballet from age 4 to 16. And my teacher was supportive and encouraging and was a large part of my young life. She was at my wedding reception a number of years ago, and we got to talking about "kids today". She was frustrated and remarked that maybe she should just stop teaching because what difference does it make anyway. Until I reminded her of how her teaching affected MY life.

 

A former boss once commented that I had achieved a lot in my 20's, and he told me that he especially admired my positive attitude. In truth, I haven't always been so positive. In fact, at age 14 I was about as negative as anyone can be despite being outwardly the model child. So here's where I mention a taboo subject: Suicide. I was seriously considering it. It's a rather long story, but suffice it to say that I demanded perfection from myself, and it culminated in pressure that was just too great to bear. Mind you, no one else was pressuring me to be perfect. Only me. I had the ideal childhood and grew up with loving and supportive parents. I had everything I needed and could want.

 

So one day after a ballet lesson my teacher sat me down. It had been yet another lesson when every word out of my mouth had been "I can't". And she wanted to know what was going on with me. She was the only adult whom I trusted, so I confided in her. Here's where you can imagine different outcomes, but I'll tell you what DID happen.

 

She called my parents who, I imagine, were distraught. My dad in his infinite wisdom gave me a book. Not just any book, either. It was Norman Vincent Peale's The Power of Positive Thinking, published in the 1950's. Before I was born. I shudder to think had he not written it. But I read it. And took the bits that resonated with me and left the rest behind. And I made up my mind to make something of myself and of my life. I chose to LIVE life. I chose to persist. And I changed my attitude from "I can't" to "I can". And like shoes a little too big when I got them, I grew into the name "Gumption".

 

So the next time times are tough and you think that you can't go on or don't make a difference, think again. And repeat these words: "I believe I can".