No regrets

Positive self-talk is the key to achieving your dreams

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“Remember your dreams and fight for them. You must know what you want from life. There is just one thing that makes your dream become impossible: the fear of failure.” ― Paulo Coelho


At 14 I promised myself to “make something” of my life. In May 2019 I turned 50 and asked myself if I’d made good on that promise. My answer is YES!

When I think of what success looks like, it includes loving others and being loved, having long-term friendships, and reaching life goals. Do I still have more dreams and goals set for myself? Yes, and I’m working on them as I type this.

Some people dream but never take any steps to make their dreams a reality. Others take a few steps and stop, blaming others for standing in their way or for not walking the path with them. Then there are those who don’t even try to take the first step, citing a lack of talent, skills, opportunity, time, money, or luck.

A friend working in hospice told me that it’s always what someone did not do that fills them with regret. It doesn’t have to be that way for you.

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves: regret for the past and fear of the future.” ― Fulton Oursler

If you know what the essence of your dream is — to know that you are loved, to feel safe, to connect with others, or to create something — then you can achieve it. Often you’ll find that the essence of a dream does not require money, talent, or help from others. Moreover, you might find that you already have what you’re seeking. This makes the manifestation of the dream easier.

Whether big or small, take the steps to live your dreams. Even big dreams can be achieved just by taking one small step at a time. The secret is to keep taking steps. Break the journey down into mini-milestones. Then count up to your goal, not down.

Success in relationships and achieving life goals are equal parts (a) showing up and (b) doing the work. Doing only one part will not get you the results you desire.

To make sure you show up time and again, speak kindly to yourself. Have patience with yourself and your progress. Welcome yourself as you would someone to a party in your home.

Make positive self-talk the goal of the journey, rather than the Big Goal itself. Be your own cheerleader.

Keep showing up AND doing the work until your goal is reached. It’s a multi-step process. Know that you will succeed if you endure and keep taking steps.

The secret to endurance is pacing yourself. If you’re too quick out of the box, you’ll quickly tire. Find a pace that works for you. Adjust your pace as you go until you find your stride. Stop before you’re exhausted and resume the work in your next session.

“The paradox of endurance sports is that an athlete can never work as hard as he wants, because if he pushes himself too far, his hematocrit will fall.“ — Malcolm Gladwell


At the end of each session, congratulate yourself for both showing up AND for doing the work. Also, celebrate all the steps taken thus far on your quest, and picture in your mind how you will feel when you have reached your goal. This is how to end your session.

“Whatever you want to do, do it now. There are only so many tomorrows.” — Michael Landon