Worth, power & connection
"You are all things. Denying, rejecting, judging or hiding from any aspect of your total being creates pain and results in a lack of wholeness." — Joy Page
I write about personal growth, and my most recent posts have chronicled the re-opening of my deepest wounds in order to both cleanse and heal them. My purpose in doing this? So I can finally see myself as (already) whole.
This journey led to a new, deep appreciation for where I now stand. Perhaps it goes without saying that my artworks are like pages out of my diary, and in the beginning of September 2016, "Whole" is the cement fresco that came forth. Although it's my largest piece to date, this was by far a gentle and easy "birth". So gentle and easy that it astonished me!
Each artwork that comes through me offers a message, and this is what "Whole" offers: you love your complexities, quirks, and imperfections wholeheartedly as integral and wonderful components of your true essence.
In short, "Whole" celebrates releasing the attachment to the wounded self and reclaiming one's identity as a whole self.
"The goal is not to achieve a ‘whole’ that equates with ‘better’, but to be whole-heartedly what we are, wounds and all, and still offer ourselves up to the greater good knowing we each have a role to play." — Sarah Varcas
Wholeness feels content and serene; it is true beauty radiated from within.
Wholeness is feeling worthy. (After all, we are all inherently worthy.)
Wholeness means you know that you're "enough" exactly as you are.
Wholeness allows scars to fade because you've integrated the lessons they represent.
Wholeness means no longer feeling broken.
Wholeness is knowing that the only person who can break you...is you.
Wholeness means both owning and standing firmly in your personal power.
Wholeness allows you to connect to others from a place of worth and personal power.
The process of releasing the attachment to our wounds involves identifying what happened to cause us pain in the first place. The next step is to form a positive story around what happened so we can integrate the lessons learned, let go of the attachment to pain, and allow the scars to fade. In short, this process allowed me to finally let go of — once and for all — that chip on my shoulder that's been there since I was eleven or twelve years old.
One trap to watch out for is to confuse your identity with the wounding that happened to you, which includes labeling yourself either a victim or survivor of [insert name of wounding]. Another trap to avoid is to use what happened to you to elicit sympathy or love from others because that just keeps you stuck.
Keep in mind that the total of who you are is much, much bigger than the wound ever could be. Besides, you are not the wound!
Carolyn Myss writes, "We are not meant to stay wounded. We are supposed to move through our tragedies and challenges and to help each other move through the many painful episodes of our lives. By remaining stuck in the power of our wounds, we block our own transformation. We overlook the greater gifts inherent in our wounds—the strength to overcome them and the lessons that we are meant to receive through them. Wounds are the means through which we enter the hearts of other people. They are meant to teach us to become compassionate and wise."
The first step beyond "victim" is "survivor".
The next step is to become a "creator".
How would your life look if you lived without any wounds? What will you create next?
My answer was to renovate my home from top to bottom. For 2 1/2 years I've been working sporadically on transforming our home — plastering every wall, painting the ceiling, walls, doors / door frames, laying a new floor and sub-floor, and affixing new wallskirting. Now my home reflects how I feel about myself: it finally feels whole and harmonious. It feels good!